Consult Your Heart

I was able to acquire a worldly effect as result of following a legal concession but each time I acquired more of it, something was lost from my heart; each time an avenue to acquire more lit up before me, the darkness in my heart grew.

I cried out,

There is no good in this entire world if acquiring it leads to a turbid heart. There would be no true pleasure in a garden acquired through something that is religiously blameworthy or a dishonest transaction; to sleep on rubbish heaps with a heart free of this grime is more delightful than (reclining on) kings’ couches.’

I continued in this vein: sometimes I would overcome my soul and sometimes it overcame me; then circumstances would dictate the acquisition of what I needed to meet a need. [My soul] would make its case, ‘I am not overstepping the apparent bounds of the permissible.’ I countered, ‘Does not scrupulousness (wara’) prohibit you from this?’ It replied, ‘Yes.’ I then asked, ‘Does it not lead to hardness of the heart?’ It replied, ‘It does.’ I said, ‘If this is the fruit, there is no good for you in it!’

One day I took my soul to the side, saying, ‘Woe to you, let me speak to you and listen well! Assume that you have gathered something of this world in which there is doubt, are you certain that you will spend it?’
It replied, ‘No.’
I said, ‘So the tragedy is that it could only be of benefit to someone else, while all you get from it is an uneasy heart in the short-term, and a burden which you may or may not have to bear.
‘Woe to you! For the sake of Allah, leave what bars you from scrupulousness. Deal with it by leaving it. It seems that you only want to leave what is proscribed, or what is, on the face of it, wrong. Have you not heard,

‘Is there not a lesson for you in people who hoarded things only for others to acquire them? They craved and coveted but never realised their ambitions.
‘How many a scholar has gathered scores of books only to benefit from none! How many there are who do actually benefit, yet may not have as much as ten volumes? How many are those who live a blissful life, yet do not possess two dinars? How many are those with tremendous wealth yet are beset with anxiety and stress?
‘Do you not have the sharpness of insight that makes clear to you the state of those who [may gain a benefit from] legal concessions on the one hand, but suffer many losses on the other. Perhaps the owner of a house, or one of its residents, is struck with illness and spends therein many times more than what he earned through those concessions; but the person mindful of Allah is spared of this.’

My soul rose up to rebuke me, exclaiming, ‘I am not overstepping the bounds of the law, what more do you want of me?!’
I said, ‘I will refrain from cheating you, and you know your inner self better.’
It said, ‘Tell me what I should do.’

I counselled it,

‘If you find this advice hard to bear, say, “Patience for a while!” The time for you to see the fruits [of your patience] has not yet come to an end. May Allah guide you to its realisation and aid you through His divine accord.*’

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